Lisa's thought for the week

Why wait to be beaten with a big stick?

by Lisa Barlow

The problem some people have with motivation is that it really is an inside job (apart from if you’re a canoeist being stalked by a great white shark that is)! What motivates me to do something will be different from what motivates you. 

Motivation is the desire to do something. 

Some of us are motivated towards something desirable (the carrot approach) and others motivated away from an undesirable consequence (the stick approach). For example someone might start an exercise programme to move towards fitness, to enjoy all the benefits that being fit affords whilst another just wants to avoid fatness. Generally speaking moving towards something usually helps maintain a longer term motivation to do that which is necessary to maintain the results you seek.  Sadly the majority of people wait to be hit with a stick before doing anything about their situation. It appears we will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure (unless there is instant gratification of course). We wait for things to become unbearable before doing something about it, and yet we all know that prevention is better than cure. Maybe we need to suffer for our own spiritual development, who knows?

How do you see yourself? I have listened to many a person talk themselves out of doing something with their own self talk; ‘I’m lazy’ is not an identity statement that is likely to get things done. 

Some thinkers believe you need to change your thoughts before your behaviour changes, others argue that if you commit yourself to carrying out different behaviours your thoughts will change about yourself. Maybe it’s a cycle. Maybe it doesn’t matter what you do different, think or do. In which case it can’t do any harm to work on both thoughts and behaviour can it? If you change your view of yourself to a motivated individual who gets things done AND then commit the ACTIONS necessary for this to be a truth you will change your life. Seems a bit simple doesn’t it? Maybe it is. Maybe we convince ourselves that change is difficult, that we have no control over who we are. Just suppose we have more control over how we think and what we habitually do? How might our lives be different if we believed this to be a truth?

Lisa's Challenge: I invite you to choose one area of your life where you feel ‘out of balance’, either where you feel you are giving too much or too little time and energy to.  Commit to doing ONE thing differently for the next 7 days and notice any changes which happen as a result. Just notice.......

Lisa Barlow is a Personal Development Coach at Bare Health, Congleton. For more information or to book a one to one consultation with Lisa please do not hesitate to call us on 01260 408413

Experience Shiatsu at Bare Health

Would you like to experience well-being?

Would you like to feel at ease in your body and be more relaxed?
Have you thought of Shiatsu?

Bare Health Shiatsu Practitioner, Alison Thompson will be offering 20 min taster sessions on Saturday 22nd November at £5. If a full session is booked on the day then the £5 will be deducted from the cost of the first session. To book your taster session with Ali, please call Bare Health on 01260 408413 and experience at first hand the peace, calm and balance this wonderfully restorative treatment can bring.

What is Shiatsu?

Shiatsu is a physical therapy that supports and strengthens the body's natural ability to heal and balance itself, helping to give back that sense of health and well-being in your life.
Originating in Japan, Shiatsu is a holistic therapy with its roots in traditional Chinese medicine which has been influenced by more recent Western therapies. It works with the flow of energy in the meridian pathways that travel throughout the body.

Shiatsu:
* Helps overcome feelings of pressure and stress
* Soothes the nervous system and calmest the mind
* Increases flexibility
* Both invigorating and relaxing
* Transforms symptoms, emotions and old injuries that are hard to shift

The session takes place on a padded mat on the floor. The client remains fully clothed, ideally loose fitting trousers and top so to enable me to move your body, open joints and stretch muscles where necessary. Socks also need to be worn.

For the first session with new client is 90 mins. Time is allowed for discussion with client to help gain a general picture of health/lifestyle.
Thereafter sessions are 60 mins.

Generally no two sessions are the same as the considerations of the client are taken into account on how they are feeling on that particular day.

Many of us experience highs and lows in energy as we journey through life. Regular Shiatsu can help maintain a sense of balance.

Lisa's thought for the week - Are you an energy creator or an energy stealer?

When you walk into a room full of people what energy do you bring with you?

Does it depend on where you are and who you’re with?

Are people generally pleased to see you or would they like to walk out as you walk in?

When I talk about a person’s ‘energy field’ or ‘vibration’ I am talking about how people make us ‘feel when we are around them. Some people give off ‘good vibes’, some give off ‘bad vibes’. It’s not necessarily (though it can be) what they say or how they behave, it’s something else.  You just sense a vibe; it can be positive or negative. So I invite you to consider the vibes you give off. What we are thinking unconsciously is often given away in our facial expressions and body language. ‘I’m fine’ spoken with a frown and arms folded tightly across the body are incongruent, they don’t match. Something is wrong with the picture. It’s easier to notice the energy vibes of another rather than face the mirror and become aware of our own. I believe we are ‘in charge’ of our vibes with our intentions. 

The next time you are at a gathering or party you don’t want to be at (firstly question why you are there to start with, there will be some pay off), consider the vibes you are giving off. Even if you put a ‘smile’ on your face, the sensitive among the group will sense your negative energy. I guarantee you won’t have a good time and it’s unlikely you’ll be invited back. Mission accomplished on your part, you won’t have to return to a place you didn’t want to go in the first place. My advice..... Go because you really want to or stay at home. If you WANT to enjoy yourself you can do that regardless of who you happen to be with, or where you happen to be. Everyone has a choice. Be fully there or leave, the world is in desperate need of loving presence in all our interactions. If you can’t be that love for whatever reason (and we can all justify our reasons) then choose to stay at home, we are all in need of loving kindness and this must start with ourselves.

Challenge: The next party / gathering / family event you get invited to, ask yourself whether this is something you REALLY want to go to. If not, don’t go but if you do decide to attend for whatever reason, go with love and open yourself to the possibility of having a good time, no matter what happens or who pushes your buttons. Stay open and see if anything changes.

Lisa Barlow is a Personal Development Coach based at Bare Health. If you would like to chat to Lisa or make a booking for a one to one consultation, please call Bare Health on 01260 408413

Lisa's thought for the week - How do you love?

How do you love?

 by Lisa Barlow

I’ve been observing and taking notes these past few years and I think I may have some observations that could help in understanding some of our most intimate relationships. I’ve noticed how most people ‘give’ that which they find most easy to give, me included.  Makes sense really doesn’t it? But I’ve also noticed this sometimes doesn’t mean much to the recipient if the person you’re ‘giving’ to doesn’t value the same thing, if their love map is different from yours (and this is quite possible considering we’re unique human beings. We know that love is an energy, not a thing, however it does become physically manifest by what we say and do in the world and with the people we choose to have in our lives. How you show love, how you give and receive affection says something about YOU, about YOUR map of the world. It does not tell me how someone else likes to be loved. ‘You’ve got to show me love’ sang Robin S, but what that looks like to me could be something completely different to you. Love me how I like to be loved. Tall order isn’t it? We all love differently. Can I still honour the soul in you even if we’re so very different? Can we make intimacy work? I believe we can if we want to. ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood’ wrote Stephen Covey in ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’.

                                                               

      

When was the last time you communicated to your nearest and dearest what you needed from them in the ‘love’ stakes? It takes emotional courage for they may choose not to meet your love need, and that’s OK, they’re entitled. This is usually the point at which your being ‘in relationship’ is questioned. Do we care enough about another’s love map to want to love them how they wish to be loved? Maybe we do or maybe we don’t. Sadly, in my previous life as a Connexions Personal Adviser I worked with many an individual whose experience of relationships was far from ’loving’. In their worlds they and others would get their own needs met at any cost to another individual; physically, financially or emotionally and would title this ‘love’. Violence and abuse (in any form) is NOT love, regardless of how many times this word leaves the mouth of the individual saying it. In order for these destructive patterns to be broken, professional guidance may need to be sought.

For those who haven’t been subjected to such dysfunction throughout childhood but have never had any lessons in love either it’s worth considering the following questions:

•      Can you love another how they LIKE to be loved?
• Do you only love in the way you have been conditioned to love?
• Do you try to get them to WANT to be loved HOW you love?

Some thinkers would say that the most important thing in life is to ‘give love’, and I also believe that understanding is a part of that love. All love starts with us so the relationship we have with ourselves is vitally important as this radiates out to others. Relationships are complex because human beings are complex; however, open communication helps to simplify them.  Maybe this is why we like dogs; they are simpler in the love stakes and less judgemental!

Challenge: Do you know HOW you love or how you prefer to be loved? Just notice.... x 

Lisa Barlow is Bare Health's resident Personal development Coach. If you would like to speak to her or make an appointment for a consultation please call Bare Health on 01260 408413.